Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Table Manners

I just saw on this TV show (Deadly Dozen: Amazon, if you want to check it out) that since tarantulas can't chew, but also apparently can't swallow prey whole, they regurgitate stomach acid over their food to mush it up until they can ingest it.

This is certainly a fine solution for someone without molars, and I salute the boundless ingenuity of evolution, but can I just say that it is also kind of gross?

It's all what you're accustomed to, of course, but I'm glad I can chew.

I'd much rather grind my food into a slimy paste of goo and saliva right inside my head, and then ingest it.

Yeah, actually that's kind of gross too.

I suppose swallowing things whole is really the way to go if you want to be tidy. Swallow whole, digest, if necessary maybe cough up a compact pellet of the indigestible bits later.

All right, I'm sold. I'm swallowing all my food whole from now on. Watch for updates.

Updated to add: Gah! Choking!

Why am I not like the anaconda, capable of swallowing prey wider than my own head? Mmm...prey...(droooooool).

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