Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Back, and Bewildered

So I've been gone, and the whole world started jumping around with news.

Like, half of Alabama was pulled to pieces by tornados, including Tuscaloosa, home of the University of Alabama SLIS, provider of my library school education. Facebook is proving itself useful with a group dedicated to checking up on people, and it seems that everyone associated with SLIS is OK, but there was a lot of damage to homes. Hang in there, everyone.

Then, some people no one I know knows got married, and there was much rejoicing. I guess. Anyway, people on the news couldn't stop talking about it.

And then John Paul II was beatified. And there was possibly much rejoicing, I don't know, I'm not a Catholic, but anyway, people on the news did talk about it.

And then we heard that Osama bin Laden had been killed, and people on the news definitely did not stop talking about that.

I'm working on a conspiracy theory about it, since there are already all these people wondering about the details.

It's like this: bin Laden isn't really dead, obviously. They just faked his death, and it all has to do with the terrible secret he knows about President Obama's birth certificate.

My theory is, both bin Laden and Obama were actually born in Kenya (obviously, right?), probably in the same hospital. I think bin Laden delivered Obama (he was about 7 years old at the time, easily capable of both catching a baby and pretending to be in Hawaii) when the local doctors were called away to take care of some aliens in a crashed space ship. One of those aliens was Obama's father, on his way back to his home planet.

Hence, Obama owes bin Laden a major debt for not dropping him on the floor, and could never have him killed! Still, bin Laden had to be removed from the picture, so he's been spirited away to a mysterious island in the Bermuda Triangle ('burial at sea'? sure, whatever), like in the TV show The Prisoner, where he's currently hanging out with Elvis.

Who, I believe, also knows a terrible secret about Obama's birth certificate. If you'll recall, people used to report Elvis sightings all the time, long after his supposed 'death,' but not lately! It's because he was trying to reveal the truth, and had to be stopped.

He couldn't be killed due to his magical Elvis DNA, but he could be kept quiet by being trapped on an island, or, as we like to say, 'buried at sea.'

It all makes so much sense if you just put the pieces together! Spread the word! The internet has to know the truth!

Now I'm going to bed.

And really, my thoughts are much more with the people in the towns hit by tornados.



Anonymous said...

Why are you bewildered? Sounds like you've got everything figured out :-)

I, on the other hand, am hosting 2 feathered tornado survivors ... I may need you to research "psittacosis" before it's all over!


A'Llyn said...

You're right--I shouldn't sell myself short.

We have some nice veterinary journals I can consult for you should the need arise!