Living Up to Averages

I just saw this car commercial that said "they say" the average person will own 12 cars in a lifetime.

I've only owned three so far, and I'm already at the midpoint of my statistical average life expectancy. I need to buy nine more cars! Quick!

OK. Breathe. It's going to be all right.

What I actually need is to buy nine more cars over the next roughly 40 years.

Or, and this is even more attractive, don't buy any more cars, and let someone else pick up the slack. You suckers can buy nine more cars. I'm taking the train and spending that money on video games.

Of course I realize it's not that simple. If you don't live in a city with public transportation, you basically have to have a car if you want to go places and do things.

It's not so much the fun, glamorous toy in the car commercial as it is a critical and frequently troublesome tool that costs a lot. And costs a lot again when you have to fix it.

Probably some person who can only afford old, poorly maintained cars that break a lot and need to be replaced is taking up my slack.

Sorry, person. If it helps, I had a 17-year-old Subaru with holes in the floor that never gave me any trouble. I hope you can get something like that. Maybe on the younger end of its useful life.

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