Monday, February 13, 2012

Maybe Just Change the Mascot Already

A strongly written couple of posts on the Native Appropriations blog basically just completely explain why we should probably back off the whole "Indians as Team Mascots" thing.

I mean, those of us who were ever on that thing. I have never felt any attachment to a team with a problematic mascot, so I suppose it's easy for me to say.

But look, people who are in a better position than I am to speak on such things say that something is hurtful and offensive. With science! Is this thing really so important that it's worth knowingly continuing to hurt and offend people, or can we just drop it? (I know, I know. The answer in many cases apparently is, "it's totally worth it! Yay team!")

I'd like to point out, though, that it could be a nice boost to the economy if all these schools hire designers and stuff to make new mascots. And promote new mascots! And sew new mascot costumes!

Jobs could be created here.

Since the basic idea of the mascot is to present a terrifying face to one's opponents, I recommend that these schools pick from among the popular monsters of today, like zombies, sexy vampires, deadly viruses, and of course killer robots.

And in answer to the plaintive cry of "but where do we draw the line on what's offensive? How do we know zombies aren't offended?" I will merely say that classic zombies aren't offended by anything, duh, but if any do come forward to protest their mascotization, we should of course take their concerns seriously.

Right after beheading them and setting them on fire to make sure they don't get our brains. Safety first.

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